Childbirth can be a very traumatic experience for many women - even if it was a straightforward birth without major complications. And countless moms were in intense circumstances during labour and after… feelings of being helpless and out of control, fearing for their life or their baby’s life, physical traumas, no chance to recover……
Childbirth is basically something like a near-death experience for a woman in any case… and I don’t have to tell you, that the whole process of becoming a mother (called ‘matrescence’) is absolutely life-changing and transcendental!
Even simply not sleeping and not resting for days and weeks alone, not having the support you need, not being able to catch up on healing can be traumatic in itself. Becoming a mother comes with traumatic experiences and it often brings up traumas from much earlier in life.
Trauma from birth, from miscarriages and all the feelings that come up is something women often don’t dare to talk about.
We don’t want to ‘complain’.
We want to be ‘grateful’.
We feel ashamed.
It seems like other moms are so much tougher and got it all together, so we don’t want to look like we don’t…
“Why am I feeling like that and others don’t?” (apparently)
I hear that a lot btw.
I’m not saying that we should ‘complain’ or ‘not be grateful’.
I’m saying that it can be very powerful for our healing to speak up, to even just talk about our traumas in a safe space.
Often women think they didn’t have a ‘real trauma’ because what they went through is considered too minor, so it’s really nothing and they should just ‘suck it up…
Trauma expert and renowned author Dr. Gabor Maté defines trauma as something that “happens inside you as a result of what happened to you” - so it’s actually not about how ‘big’ the event was:
"Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you’re acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you’re acting out of fear. Trauma is not what happens to you, it’s what happens inside you as a result of what happened to you. Trauma is that scarring that makes you less flexible, more rigid, less feeling and more defended.”
We feel this scarring in our day-to-day, when we’re with our kids, with our partners, at our workplace, dealing with the million tasks and errands of motherhood. We carry it everywhere. It’s like a filter we see the world through. It can stand in the way of our recovery. It can cause physical and mental limitations and lead to health conditions, unless we learn how to be different in it. It’s possible to not be limited by it!
I’ve gone through the process myself. It’s powerful… What I’ve learned in the Practitioner Training with Dr. Gabor Maté and from many other amazing teachers and techniques, I’ve condensed specifically for moms into an effective process that I called Heart-Food’s Somatic Neuro-Balancing.
I guide mothers in one-on-one sessions and/or group sessions, and also teach them how to apply this on their own, so that they develop awareness when their nervous system is in the grips of trauma, how to take care of themselves in the moment, how to respond differently, and how to pick themselves up when they fall. They experience a physical shift in their body and nervous system, often immediately. It’s really a fascinating process.
The illusion is, that we easily think it’s our kids, our partners, our business, all the pressures in our mom life that’s holding us back - and yes, while that’s EXTREMELY difficult and just SO MUCH to carry - while people and circumstances are the triggers, the ammunition is actually already in us.
Sometimes it’s possible to change circumstances and people, but more often it’s not. Especially as a mom there are endless things to surrender to…
But the thing is, we actually don’t have to suffer. It’s one of the biggest realizations I came to in my life so far.
If you’re intrigued to learn more and if reading this resonates with you, let’s connect and see if this is a good fit for you… so that you can start experiencing balance in your life.
Benefits of Heart-Foods Somatic Neuro-Balancing TM:
- Having the skills and tools to move through daily toddler meltdowns, chaos at home and mom anxiety - with ease
- Falling asleep within minutes and gaining deep Theta Wave Sleep
- Having techniques up your sleeve to recharge during the day (even if no time for naps)
- Doubling or tripling of energy, vitality and performance (so you have plenty of energy for family, business AND yourself)
- It’s very common that in the process health conditions improve or resolve such as digestive problems, autoimmune issues, neck pain, back pain, hip pain etc. and old physical traumas
- Reconnecting with your partner and your children (so you remember this precious time the way you want to)
- Becoming the woman, the mother, and the lover you know to be (aka Goddess)
The following quote by Joseph Campbell is very fitting here:
“The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.”
I love the following sequence of pictures (artist unknown) and it’s a great visual for Heart-Food’s Somatic Neuro-Balancing TM
PS: Contact me if interested in a different approach to trauma, stress and mental health.
NOTE: This is only for moms who are ready to enter their cave...